Willfully Ignorant Court Denies Suspect’s Request For A ‘Lawyer, Dog’

A suspect arrested by local police was recently denied his request to be represented by a lawyer, dog, in Court and subsequently received an undeserved punishment of two years in prison for bank robbery.

The suspect’s brother reports that the police forcibly entered their house without permission or a warrant, so the suspect requested legal representation under the Sixth Amendment

, which guarantees the right to legal counsel if charged with any crime by the government. The court denied this request on account of the comma inserted between lawyer and dog.

Fortunately, some experts believe this ruling will not stand up in appellate courts, so the suspect may avoid jail time entirely.

i) Police Ignored the Suspect’s Requests for a Lawyer and made up charges

He claims the officers who arrested him made up the charges because he asked for a lawyer and they were violating his Miranda rights.

The whole thing is completely fictitious, Cunningham said. I want to see if somebody will help me.

Since he never received an attorney, Cunningham filed his motion to set aside his conviction with the Colorado Supreme Court. He was unsuccessful in that attempt.

Cunningham is not sure what he plans to do next but said it would probably be filing more motions in court as well as filing more complaints with internal affairs.

ii) Judge says NO comma in lawyer dog

A federal judge in Newark, NJ denied a defendant’s request for a lawyer dog because he thought the request was too vague. The defendant, Terrence Walker, faced drug charges. He sought the aid of a lawyer dog, though it is unclear how or why he would need one. The suspect made his statement to the court at his preliminary hearing.

He added that he should get a lawyer and a dog.

Judge Tucker denied Walker’s request for a comma saying that there is no law giving him the power to do so. If I gave you this order and you wanted me to come along with you-I can’t do that, Tucker told him during the hearing.

iii) He moves to appeal

Peter Wagner is a career criminal. On October 7th of this year, he was arrested for his involvement in an unrelated murder. His bail was set at $300,000 but was lowered to $100,000.00 on November 13th with the proviso that he be fitted with an ankle monitor and surrender his passport.

Wagner could pay for a security service to guard him but claimed poverty at the lower bail amount and so would have been held in jail awaiting trial – had not one William Lesion stepped forward to offer surety for his release. Upon agreeing to take responsibility for Mr.

iv) Appeals court upholds lower court ruling

Earlier this year in Texas, a suspect plead not guilty to the charge of driving with an invalid license. The judge then asked the suspect

if he wanted a court-appointed lawyer or was willing to represent himself. The man responded lawyer dog. While funny at first glance and quickly picked up by national media outlets, this story may not be as amusing.

v) He appeals again.

A Las Vegas judge declined to provide counsel for a mentally ill man who asked for a lawyer, and a dog during his first court appearance. Judge Valerie Adair-Adkins, who was presiding over a mental health hearing Tuesday morning in Las Vegas

Township Justice Court concerning a 47-year-old Anthony Perez III told the hearing that she couldn’t afford to appoint an attorney. When Perez told her he didn’t want one and just wanted to see his lawyer dog. Judge Adair-Adkins replied: Well I can’t give you one.

She then proceeded to sentence him to two days in jail on obstruction charges after he argued with her about when the case would resume next week.

vi) We still need a comma…

A suspect has been denied the chance to speak to counsel because the judge is a stickler for grammar. The man in question asked for a lawyer, and a dog when he was being arraigned but the judge denied his request. According to her, there is no comma between lawyer and dog. Willingly ignorant court denies suspect’s request for a ‘lawyer, dog’.

According to her, there is no comma between lawyer and dog. The suspect was not amused by her apparent lack of humor and proceeded to read from a printed-out version of Strunk & White’s The

Elements of Style. He should have practiced what he preaches because he didn’t punctuate his request properly.

But she just wouldn’t listen and rather than allowing him to consult with counsel she held him in contempt of court. Unsurprisingly, his legal team is planning on appealing both his conviction and sentence – that six months in jail and a $5K fine seems a little harsh for forgetting to put a comma between ‘lawyer’ and ‘dog’!

Keep browsing Law Scribd for more updates.